mood: blah music: Milo Goes To College: The Descendants

“That was boring and please don’t blow smoke in my face, you know I’m allergic.”

“Sorry.  The part where you Slammed! into the wall wasn’t bad.”

“I guess.  Do you want to sneak into the ice skating rink and eat Oreos.”

“Heck yes!”

 
Maxine and Costello figured that they had been invited to dinner with Mr. President by mistake.  Mr. President learned that the youth of today were a mistake.  Everyone learned how to walk with their shoelaces tied together and that maybe eating dinner with Mr. President was a mistake.

“No.”

“Yes, I have the ability to turn invisible.”

“No.”

“Yes, I can also breathe underwater, and sometimes if it isn’t too windy I can fly.”

We were sitting on the roof of a house that neither of us lived in.  For some reason I started telling you all my secrets, and for some reason you weren’t believing any of them, no matter how true they were.  Then a bird landed on the roof near our feet and it sang us a song.  The song it sang sounded a lot like ‘Guns Of Brixton’.  At least that is what I thought.  You said it reminded you of ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’.  After the bird finished its song it flew away, and I jumped off of the roof and ran home.

The next day I sent you a postcard.  It was from Kentucky.  It said I was fixing wire fences on a horse ranch, eating macaroni and cheese, and in my spare time making scented candles.  The picture on the postcard was entirely black except for some yellow lettering which said something like, “Nighttime in Kentucky”.  I thought it was pretty funny, because Kentucky is such a dull place.

“Yes, you are a liar.”

“No.”

“Yes you are.  You don’t have superpowers.”

“No.”

mood: annoyed music: CHEAP GIRLS: HER & CIGARETTES

About a week and a half ago, just a day or two before I was gonna go down to Riggins and visit Molly & The River, I was cuddled next to Christine reading The Girl In The Flammable Skirt and someone biked up to my glass door, just to say hello.  Immediately I thought to myself, ‘I always want this to happen and it never, ever does.  Yay for today.’  She sat around for a while then asked if I wanted to bike downtown and run errands with her.  Of course I said yes.  So we biked down to the bank.  Then we stopped at that weird sunglasses stand outside the liquor store.  The one run by a Canadian, who is married to an Italian.  We both bought glasses.  The Canadian paid for the tax.  I picked my glasses out in a fraction of the time that you picked yours.  We both look like rockstars.  Then she went off to bake cookies with her mom, and I went home to read some more.  That night I laid in bed and smiled a huge smile, because I felt like I finally achieved something I had been trying so hard for the last year to achieve.  I made a friend.  One that randomly stops by to say hello.  One that will sometimes invite me along to do stuff, so I don’t always have to be the one that calls and ends up feeling like a pest.  I detest feeling like a pest.  I found someone who makes me feel wanted.  No one else does that.

I can’t remember if I was sitting in the front, or back of the raft, or maybe I was tearing my hands and feet up climbing around on limestone, or maybe I was sitting on the beach watching the sun rise & listening to Heidi snore, but I felt really good.  Really, really, really, good.  For the first time in ages, in one thousand years, I felt like being a good person was worthwhile.  Not because anyone notices good people, but simply because I saw in myself qualities that I desire and respect.  I thought, ‘It doesn’t matter if anyone else does things I respect, because I do them.  Thank goodness I am around.'  Maybe that is arrogant, but since I was only thankful I was around for my own sake I don’t think it was.  Whatevs.  I can’t remember ever feeling so content.  Of course it only lasted a moment before passing away, but I realized that, ‘I can complain for the rest of my life, but realize sometimes life is great.’

This was like a week ago, and I can already see things headed back to the way they were.  I am not content, I don’t really feel wanted, but what can you do?  The last three weeks have been three of the best weeks I can remember and they should keep me going for a little while at least.  I don’t know what else.

The weather is quite nice today.  I would argue that the sun is a bit too bright, and it is a bit too hot.  Everyone else seems to be less picky, or less bitchy, or just too easily pleased.  So the weather may be fine, but I have resolved to stay inside.  Squinting my eyes too long gives me a headache.  This nice weather is not worth a headache.  No, no, no definitely not worth a headache.  It might be worth a sweat, or a damn, but nothing is worth a headache.  Nothing.